It is a snake year–be afraid, be very afraid. Snake years have the reputation of being calamitous. However, we entered two wars during Horse and Goat years and the economy tanked as we transitioned from a Pig to a Rat year. During a Dragon year, usually considered auspicious, we had the worst drought in decades, ruinous fires, a monster hurricane and most recently a monster snow storm. Either the Snake has gotten an undeserved bad rap, or this is going to be a wicked year. While some astrologers and Feng Shui masters try to sugarcoat this, take it from a Snake, be prepared:
1. Let’s start with the color, that’s right, there is a color associated with the year. The color of this year is black. Not a good sign. Only a Goth and Anna Wintour could be happy about that. I suggest you accept it and just go along, wear black, it’s slimming if nothing else. And you’ll blend.
2. Which brings me to another fine point, it is a water year. There is always an element associated with the year and this year it is water. Of all the water-related clichés I am going to suggest the most applicable this year is paddle like crazy. The economy is still shaky, you don’t want to be perceived as the slacker–let that be some Pig or Rat coworker.
3. Building on your manic paddling–know that Monday is the lucky day of the week for snakes. So be Snake-like and hit it hard on Mondays–it is all downhill from there.
4. Pigs and Tigers are incompatible with Snakes, avoid both. I know, you’d think it would be Rats and Rabbits, a Snake’s favorite snack options, but apparently when we are not trying to kill and eat them we get along with Rats and Rabbits. You may be wondering, “But how do I know who are the Pigs and Rats?” Pigs are clever as hell but really greedy. Tigers are gorgeous but dangerous. Just kidding, I made that up.
5. This is supposed to be a stressful year with great anxiety–not good for a Snakes’ mental health. I suspect we are not alone. I suggest moving to Colorado or Washington, or a vacation if relocation is not possible, to avail yourself of the anxiety fighting benefits of the now legal marijuana plant. But if you are still stuck on “Just say no” there is always red wine and chocolate
Kung Hei Fat Choi–All the best in the upcoming year, no matter what your sign.